Got Faith?

My hunger for knowledge has lead me to taste the bitterness of existence. I've learned that religion is like a prison to the seekers of wisdom. I should know because I'm serving a life sentence. And I have been since birth, though in my aging, my faith has become more and more my excuse. It has become something where I can take all the problems I should have to deal with and place them on the Lord's shoulders. It's become a substitute for my trials and tribulations. Instead of study for an A on my test, I'll just pray I'll get an A on my test. I know that it is wrong but my faith has grown too strong. It has made me an idealist; though I love the feeling of thinking in some transcendent way everything will work out without any prior 'working out', I know it will get me nowhere. The only thing that has kept me from a complete ignorant euphoria and kept me in the house that night I was thinking of sneaking out to go across the street to the girl house because she whispered over the phone, 'if you came over, you know I'd wanna fuck you , right?' is a six word sentence indirectly told to me while I was on the X2 bus. "Imagination is the fabric of life". When i fully understood the meaning of this it was like cumming for the first time. I heard somebody say this on the bus. Of course nobody I was with heard it--just me. I believe it's because I was the only one who needed to hear it. For some reason the words keep me in somewhat of a reality. They make me interpret causes and consequences. I don't know why because when I hear 'imagination' it makes me think of being free when all the phrase did was keep me restricted. I think more than anything the phrase made me think.....Imagination is just ideas. All religion and faith were ideas until people started killing over them and forcing them upon us. My Ideas are my faith. It takes a lot of responsibility but I think it is best. So I fail that test that I didn't study for I can't say 'WHY GOD?', taking all the blame off myself. I can only say 'WHY ME?'. Why didn't I have the idea to study....wuwuwuwu. Do you get it? My ideas are my faith. I have faith in my ideas. I believe in God... but God bestowed my intellect upon me and he wouldn't give me anything he didn't have faith in. So if he has faith in my intellect--he must believe in my ideas. AND so must I.